Happy halloween!

So I hung out with my crush on halloween, and the entire night we holding hands and it was super adorable. I had borrowed his beanie because my ears were cold and I accidentally still had it when we parted ways, and over text of said something along the lines of ohmygod sorry I have your hat! Then a few texts later, and suddenly, I'm in a relationship. I'm confused because I'm a relationship virgin so to speak and have no idea what I'm doing. At all.

halloween is almost upon us!

So I was going to dress up for halloween. Now the only costume I wanted to wear is also the costume-of-choice for this unattractive girl that always wears short shorts but is very overweight and is known as a slut. I don't want to be this anymore because she is. I despise her for absolutly no reason except for her choice of attire and her indignancy towards realizing she isn't cute and has some acne to clear up. Other than that she is a harmless snob. Now? I'm not going to be anything for halloween. I will show up in a cute little number (I honestly don't understand this expression) paired with my new half-off-designer shoes and go as a homo sapien sapien. Oh well. At least I save money on costumes.

update?

So... the guy from the other posts. Well, he's still okay, I guess. He came up to me out of nowhere and hugged me, and I was totally stoked. But that's more of an update on the supject for (if anyone is reading this) that liked it? I don't know. ;) and there's this other guy that I have been friends with since the seventh grade and I really like being friends with him. But honestly, recently I started liking him and I just... I ... dont't know what to do either. Any help?

No resolve

I thought my respond was steeled against taking to the guy but no! I cracked the second he texted, flirty as possible. I didn't mention the incident wroth the other girl which I think makes him think I don't know..... what do I do tomorrow? I'm perpetually screwed as far as love lives go.

Wind

I am definitely wind. Kazè means wind in japanese. I wouldn't have an explanation for why even if I did know how to prove this. But if I were anything, I'd be wind. Today has ben an emotional roller coaster, and unlike other people, I oppress nothing. So I found out the guy I like made out with someone that wasn't me. It's not like we were dating... If anything I have definitely not gotten over it, just set it out of my emotions along with everything else making me painfully numb. I don't know how to think our feel. It's funny because I can still smile. I'm just so used to having life be so painful that I have perfected a smile that is very convincing. The other day, the same guy told me I was cute... Cute? Cute like... What? Besides the shady compliment that had literally came out of nowhere, I had blushed. Everyone noticed the blush. Everyone laughed about out but all I could think was.... I was blushing? I never blush. I don't know why, I just don't. I covered my cheeks and there it was, my cheeks were burning and prominently flushed. I had never blushed around the guy who I had previously thought I was in love with. Of course that was the cheap middle school version of love. Just the fact that I was blushing......

How am I supposed to feel?

It's freshman year! about two months in and two days before my birthday. The guy I have liked since the start of the year or shortly after was seen making out with some girl. I'm numb. how am I supposed to feel about that? He said it was just a hookup type thing and meant nothing.. I'm glad though that I stayed home from school with a sick feeling. I can't seem to put a facial expression on my face. I wish I would cry... or do something, but I am lost. What does anything mean? Was I so naive to fall for someone like that? I would hope not, but I'm so confused. What now? How do I respond to this? I heard this through a trusted source and I bet he doesn't know that I know... How do I act?